What is it with all this ’empowering women’ rubbish?

Donna 5

Mail art I made for Donna Downey.
More photos at www.findingfirelight.com

 How many times have you heard someone say part of their business is to “Empower Women”?

(There’s a great video by Marie Forleo about using those words – HERE)

Why do so many people use this?  And why do they think we all need to be empowered?

I don’t need to be empowered.  I’m brave.  I’m strong.

I grew up with the Spice Girls, damn it!  I can tell you what I want, what I really really want.

We aren’t little girls lost.  We aren’t sitting on our butt, waiting for Prince Charming to come rescue us.  Us girls are very powerful.   Think about it…. We’re the go to girl in the office (though usually the least appreciated.  Oh, and the lowest paid).  We run our household with clockwork precision (well, most of the time).  We’re usually stirring dinner with one hand, paying a bill with the other and patting the dog with one foot.  We work full time.  We do most of the housework.  We are looking after husbands and parents.  Some of you have kids as well.   It’s a wonder we get time to sleep!

Some of you are still going at midnight, because it’s the only time the house is quiet and you can have a moment to yourself.  The only time someone isn’t asking for something .  I get up at 4am with only the white-cat-that-loves-to-blog for company.  Even then, I’m usually stopping to give her a chin rub.  Blogging with one hand, chin rubbing with the other.  We just can’t help ourselves, can we?

We don’t need to be empowered.  We just need to put ourselves first sometimes.

Because that’s why we miss out.

Not because we don’t know what we want.  We know full well what we want.  And it’s not because we aren’t brave enough.  Because we don’t feel powerful enough.  We’ve got our superhero cape on almost every day.  It’s because we don’t put ourselves first.  By the time we’ve saved the bosses ass for the 5th time today, paid the bills, cooked a gourmet dinner Jamie Oliver would be proud of and done the laundry… it’s bed time.  Or I-just-want-to-sit-down-for-5-minutes time.

We make to do lists a mile long.  We’re world champions at it.  And we put the boring stuff like vacuuming first.  Seriously?  The vacuuming gets to go first?!  We make sure everyone else in our life is looked after.  Even if they can look after themselves.  And what we really want to do gets put at the bottom.  But it’s not a crime to move some of the things your heart is screaming out for further up the list.

Next time someone tells you they want to empower women, tell them you don’t need to be empowered, you just some time for yourself.

And if they really want to help out – they are welcome to come round to your house and pick up the vacuum cleaner anytime they like.

Coral.  xo

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    4 Responses to What is it with all this ’empowering women’ rubbish?

    1. Nita says:

      I hear what you are saying, and I agree with you from my perspective as a woman who also considers herself quite powerful. However, the existence of women’s shelters in North America and female genocide in 3rd world countries shows us that this isn’t true of all women. What I wish is that those companies who try to empower the already empowered would put a similar time, effort & $$ into stopping female circumcision in Africa. and on and on I go…

      • Coral says:

        Such beautiful thoughts, Nita. We just voted in a Federal election here in Australia. I posted a photo on my Instagram saying how grateful I am having the right to vote and being able to vote safely – especially when so many others around the world don’t have that opportunity. To work towards womens rights in third world counties is incredibly important work. Even in countries like ours, women who have been victims of assault and abuse need all the support they can get to recover.

        What concerns me is that there are so many websites assuming we ALL need to be empowered. That we are all lost. We all need rescuing from ourselves. Especially when people don’t have a clue what they want to do as a business but they know they want to empower women. Blech. Be specific. Be helpful. Be encouraging. Be a leader. Be a cheerleader. Be the hand up people are looking for. That is what is beautiful and purposeful.

    2. Renee Savoie says:

      HAHAHA, Love it!! Keep being awesome Coral!!

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