I faced a test this week. Not a maths test – thank goodness for small mercies. Not a personality test – that could reveal things none of us need to know. Not a driving test – hooking it around my favourite corner would probably earn me an instant fail and a demand to be taken back to base from the tester. What do you mean, you don’t have a favourite corner? I’m guessing you don’t have a favourite gear either? Hmmm… We’ll talk about this later…
I got tested on the beliefs for my business. I don’t want to give energy and space to what happened and it wasn’t anything bad in the scope of things. The best way to describe it is that it presented me with a crossroads. Two paths I could choose. Two directions.
“How do I react to this?”, I thought – I’m good at instant pissed off. Really good. Just add water. Not my best personality trait, but ’tis what it is.
What choice do I make? Do I react full tilt, all guns a blazin’, bull at a gate style which was my instant thought when it happened. To be honest, it’s usually my instant reaction to most things. Do I just ignore it which is kind of hard when it keeps playing over and over in your head like that song you hate on the radio but can’t stop singing.
It made me question what I believe in. I hate that.
If anyone is going to be doing the questioning around here, it’s gonna be me.
Not someone else. Not a stranger.
I felt forced into questioning what I believe in and what I want for my business. Forced into justifying myself. Hang on a minute. How the hell did that happen? I’m just a girl trying to go after her big, wild, crazy dream. A girl fighting off a mid life re-assessment (no crisis here). And I’m sharing it publicly in the hope it might help someone else let their dream out into the world too.
I get up at 4am to make the time to turn this little idea into something big and real and true. Most of the time I have no idea what I’m doing. But I’m doing it anyway. And that should count for something. Not just for me, but for anyone with the courage to give it a damn good go.
It’s not for someone else to question. Especially the way it was put to me. And so, I had a think about it and what I came up with was this.
I believe everyone’s dream is different even if they look the same on the surface.
I believe everyone will take a different path to get there.
That what is the perfect fit for one person will feel like a wet over-sized jumper on someone else.
I believe we are all in this together. I believe in encouraging anyone who wants to take on their big, wild, crazy dream and turn it into reality.
The questioning did lead me to something though. More clarity. Every time I think I’ve got a handle on this. Every time I think I know what I’m doing (well, kinda sorta). Every time I think I can say ‘look Mum, no hands’, I realize I’m not there yet. There’s more learning to do. More growing to do. More depth to find.
So rather than do the pissed off thing, since I’ve had so much practice at that already – I chose the path of calm and strength. I chose to act how I want my business to be and feel and represent. I took what positives from it what I could. I made some tweaks to my about page with more changes to come. And I ignored what had led me to this post. No reaction. No comment. No reply. By responding, it felt like I was inviting that energy in. And bad energy is not welcome here.
Yours in heartfelt encouragement – Coral. xo
PS – You know I’ve opened my Etsy Store, right? You can check out what all this work has been about HERE.