The uninvited test

Ranger spray inks, The Crafters Workshop stencils, scrapbook paper and shipping tag.

Ranger spray inks, The Crafters Workshop stencils, scrapbook paper and shipping tag.

I faced a test this week.  Not a maths test – thank goodness for small mercies.  Not a personality test – that could reveal things none of us need to know.  Not a driving test – hooking it around my favourite corner would probably earn me an instant fail and a demand to be taken back to base from the tester. What do you mean, you don’t have a favourite corner?  I’m guessing you don’t have a favourite gear either?  Hmmm… We’ll talk about this later…

I got tested on the beliefs for my business.  I don’t want to give energy and space to what happened and it wasn’t anything bad in the scope of things.  The best way to describe it is that it presented me with a crossroads.  Two paths I could choose.  Two directions.

“How do I react to this?”, I thought – I’m good at instant pissed off.  Really good.  Just add water.  Not my best personality trait, but ’tis what it is.

What choice do I make?  Do I react full tilt, all guns a blazin’, bull at a gate style which was my instant thought when it happened.   To be honest, it’s usually my instant reaction to most things.   Do I just ignore it which is kind of hard when it keeps playing over and over in your head like that song you hate on the radio but can’t stop singing.

It made me question what I believe in. I hate that.

If anyone is going to be doing the questioning around here, it’s gonna be me.

Not someone else.  Not a stranger.

I felt forced into questioning what I believe in and what I want for my business.  Forced into justifying myself.  Hang on a minute. How the hell did that happen?  I’m just a girl trying to go after her big, wild, crazy dream.  A girl fighting off a mid life re-assessment (no crisis here).  And I’m sharing it publicly in the hope it might help someone else let their dream out into the world too.

I get up at 4am to make the time to turn this little idea into something big and real and true.  Most of the time I have no idea what I’m doing.  But I’m doing it anyway.  And that should count for something.  Not just for me, but for anyone with the courage to give it a damn good go.

It’s not for someone else to question.  Especially the way it was put to me.  And so, I had a think about it and what I came up with was this.

I believe everyone’s dream is different even if they look the same on the surface.

I believe everyone will take a different path to get there.

That what is the perfect fit for one person will feel like a wet over-sized jumper on someone else.

I believe we are all in this together.  I believe in encouraging anyone who wants to take on their big, wild, crazy dream and turn it into reality.

The questioning did lead me to something though.  More clarity.  Every time I think I’ve got a handle on this.  Every time I think I know what I’m doing (well, kinda sorta).  Every time I think I can say ‘look Mum, no hands’, I realize I’m not there yet.  There’s more learning to do.  More growing to do.  More depth to find.

So rather than do the pissed off thing, since I’ve had so much practice at that already – I chose the path of calm and strength.  I chose to act how I want my business to be and feel and represent.  I took what positives from it what I could.  I made some tweaks to my about page with more changes to come.  And I ignored what had led me to this post.  No reaction.  No comment.  No reply.  By responding, it felt like I was inviting that energy in.  And bad energy is not welcome here.

Yours in heartfelt encouragement – Coral. xo

PS – You know I’ve opened my Etsy Store, right?  You can check out what all this work has been about HERE.

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    4 Responses to The uninvited test

    1. Erin says:

      Beautifully said, my friend. Because it is a choice, isn’t it? And the more mindful and deliberate we can be in our choices, the firmer our grasp on the reins of our dreams 🙂

      • Coral says:

        A grasp on the reins of our dreams – love your words as always.

        It was hard not to go to the “I’m right and I gonna make my point” place. To just let it go isn’t my usual position. But you pick your battles and this one wasn’t worth the fight. I took the good from it and let the rest go. Oh my, I think I’m becoming a grown up!?

    2. Oh how I can relate. I love the way you put things in writing, and like you, I to can do the pissed off, bull raging, I’m gonna flatten you – I really don’t need any more practice in that area – ha. I appreciate how you share your feelings and stresses with your followers. I ALWAYS enjoy and learn from your posts. Thank you so much for sharing.

      I’m a dream chaser and while I have tried many things some successful and some not so much – I expect I will continue until there is no breath left in me. I love the adventure, I love the concept of being my own boss and creating something from nothing. People tell me all the time I’m nuts, or they give me ‘that look’ that says “seriously you’re 49 yrs old – grow up and act it” I have no intentions of acting old. I love life, adventure, and excitement of what tomorrow may bring.

      Love your blogs and your work, You Rock

      • Coral says:

        Thank you for your beautiful words Terri. I was really nervous about sharing this post. And I deleted the first one I wrote because it was a bit too upfront and hardcore. I love that you call yourself a “Dream Chaser” – how gorgeous is that?! Next time someone gives you are hard time about chasing your dreams and going on the adventure of being your own boss, tell them – Age doesn’t matter unless you are a wine or a cheese. You are NEVER too old. I truly believe that. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t and surround yourself with people who constantly remind you that you can. For me, Kelly Rae Roberts is such an embodiment of that. And I often get an email from her just when I need a courage boost – sign up for her newsletter if you haven’t already.

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