The twelfth of December, 2012. This number keeps coming up and I’ve had to write it on some paperwork this week. And as I wrote it, it stopped me in my tracks. This is the last time I will write 3 numbers the same in the date in this lifetime. 12/12/12. Ooh, didn’t that make me feel like a tiny pea in the pond? Making the universe seem really big and infinite with me in my little boat.
It’s got me thinking about my ‘mid life major reassessment’.
And about what I really want to do.
I’ve dipped my toe in the water of what my life could be like.
It has given me a good kick in the butt and reminded me why I can’t quit. Why I can’t go back. They say “Once the mind is stretched by a new idea, it can never go back”. I get it. I truly get what this means. And if you’ve started your adventure too, you’ll know what I mean. Once you dive into this world, you can’t go back. Even if you only have your teeny tiny pinky toe in the water.
People talk about falling in with the wrong crowd.
Of being being led astray. And to beware.
But what I’ve discovered is the other side of this saying.
The one that no-one tells you about.
Falling in with the right crowd.
Of being lead where I am meant to go. Of being aware.
Now I have seen behind the curtain, the other side of what life can be, I can’t go back. I need to run towards it. It’s bloody hard. Sh*t it’s hard. It has it’s roaring highs and devastating lows – as witnessed by my alternating between happy dances and cranky dances in my lounge room. And plenty of tears too. I cannot get a glimpse of this life and then turn back. I can’t dip my teeny tiny pinky toe in, then step back out and walk away. I want to jump in with both feet.
And so I will wake up at 4am again tomorrow and take another step in the adventure. Are you coming?