Freak out week

Finding Firelight art stamp, Ranger paint dabber and torn kraft shopping bag

I had a bit of a freak out with everything this week.  I was feeling a little stalled with the blog here.  I took some photos that looked less than stellar.  And I’m still waiting for my logo concepts.  You know that last one is a touchy subject.  So I went to my go to girls for a courage boost.

I read an ebook I had downloaded that included one of my favourite arty girls and mentors.   In her chapter, she mentioned she had over 11,000 visitors per month to her blog within her first 3 months.

Hmmm… I’m not really setting the world on fire in comparison here.

I looked at blogs where the photos are amazing, the projects are inspiring and the website design is fantastic.  They just seem to have their stuff together.  You know the sites I’m talking about – I know you look at them and feel the same way.

Ugh – it’s not at all helpful.  Especially when you are in a funk.

I looked to other girls I admire who were at the same point I was a year or so ago.  They  seem to be powering ahead while I’m feeling static.  Stuck.  Or dare I say it, left behind. Although it’s not for a lack of trying on my part  – trust me.  That’s part of what makes it so frustrating.

And so I had a nice little pity party for a few days.

Telling myself stuff that just made me feel worse.  Trying to figure out the ‘secret sauce’ I was missing.  Wondering why I couldn’t figure it out.  Why, when I did the same thing as other people, I didn’t get the same results.

Then I cam across another section in the same ebook a few days later from Brittni of Paper N’ Stitch.  And she said it took her over 2 years of hard work to get her site to where it is today.  Hmm, that made me feel a little better.  And, as I came out of my fog and got over myself, I realized it’s not about how quick you do it.  It’s not a race and it’s not a competition.  It’s not you vs everyone else.  No-one is judging you (and if they are, they aren’t the people you need to be around).  That it won’t be perfect the first time or at the start.

Of course, you want it all to happen yesterday.  To be in the place you imagine.  To be doing what you love and making a beautiful living doing it.  And to walk away from That Day Job, knowing you’ll never have to go back.  But deep down, you also know it takes time.  It takes a lot of effort.  It takes mistakes and do-overs and start agains.  And most people aren’t willing to brave it all.

“If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard… is what makes it great”

– A League Of Their Own.

So why don’t I give up?  Why don’t I say it’s all too hard?  Why don’t I say I’ll never be good enough?  Because it won’t go away.  Because the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning is this creative business.  I think about blog posts and stamp design ideas and newsletter topics and what I want to learn or try next.  I think about what this could grow into.  And who I could grow into in the process.  I imagine what it will feel like.  I see what my perfect day looks like.  I crave that life too much to give up on this.

And I know it’s possible.

I see others starting and growing and transforming.  And I know there are others out there like me who aren’t giving up.   Those who wake up feeling the same way I do.  Who go to bed at night dreaming of art journal pages or making jewellery or sewing their creations.   Who dream of having an Etsy store.  Who dream of building a creative business from the ground up that is all their own.

If they aren’t giving up, then neither am I.  And neither are you.

Coral  xo

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